I am so fortunate to have the family and friends that I have, they’re more than what I could have ever asked for. They know my needs more than me at times. SO many people have been here to help me up after I’ve fallen. Even to intervene before a fall has taken place, the capacity to love and the depth of love that I’ve been shown in the past two years has been astounding. The slow erosion of my dysfunctional love has allowed me to find love in the connections of friends and family that have always been there.
Sometimes Love can manifest itself in simply being present and offering your time and ears.
I haven’t written a poem in awhile so I took a little pause to love myself and my (chosen) family. That’s a revolutionary act in its own right from someone who struggles to fully accept and love herself.
So, I will revel in the love that others have so graciously shown to me.
When you can recognize the stillness of sleep, from the hours of rocking you clocked
When Grandpa goes the extra mile because they see you doing your best
When They smile at waking up next to you
When their Great Cousin tells you you’re family and treats you like it
When they hold your hand because they want you, not need you
When your Sister says I got Him, you go
When They don’t readily give kisses, but will present their cheek for one
When your Coworker reminds you to value yourself
When They look for you in times of the unfamiliar because you’ve given them security
When Tía goes to the first doctor’s appointment and pulls up when your water breaks
When their eyebrows are furrowed, lips upturned and sincerely offer hugs
When your Brother welcomes you into his home and fixes yall a homecooked meal
When they barrage you with strings of mom mom mom, as a nod to all you’ve done
When their Aunties are nap time cushions
When their fingers are stretched and wiggling waiting for your strength to uplift them
When their Nanny consistently boosts your parenting
When They make faces at you knowing you gladly return the gesture
When your Partner watches them so you can nap
When They have a screaming fit from your discipline and still want your arms to comfort them
When their Granny sends them curriculum before their one
When They find relief in the crook of your neck
When their Great Auntie bolsters you through your baby blues
When it’s the middle of the night, bathroom door shut, on the toilet with a hot shower running so They can breathe a little easier
When your Friend offers you refuge and redemption and ultimately becomes Family
When your Village rotates 10-hour shifts, so you can do your 8-hour shift
When you realize you can provide
When Their whole face lights up in genuine joy that you’ve returned
Of course I would, I love you baby